Is there something WRONG with me!?!?

5 09 2010

Disclaimer: This post might get a bit mushy for some of you…so feel free to continue reading, but you can’t say I didn’t warn you 🙂

If you haven’t read the post “Just Not Enough“, you might want to check it out before reading this. I’m borrowing the basic idea from that post that Satan has whispered lies to me to make me believe that because _______ hasn’t happened yet, I must not be _______ enough; to make me believe that something is wrong. To be blunt, what I’m getting at is that this time of year can be tough on single (college) students. We come back to school and in addition to observing new classes and new students, we watch new couples happen. Yes, I just went there.

The school I attend has a reputation for people getting married quickly…slogans like “ring by spring” plague the campus, and I’ve even heard girls say that if you don’t have a boyfriend within the first few months of school, you’re out of luck…all the good guys are taken by then. WHAT? That’s crap.

In my two previous years of college, this period of the new semester has proved to be slightly challenging. My mind is overrun with the why’s and why nots, and the how comes revolving around why I’M not involved in this shebang. “Is there something wrong with me?? Am I too fat? too ugly? too annoying? not good enough? What’s the deal!?!?” And here’s the thing. We assume it’s us. We assume that the issue lies solely within ourselves.

But I’m done with that kind of thinking; done with assuming there’s something wrong with me because I’m not currently dating. As I go into this season of watching people couple off, there are three things I plan to remind myself of regularly.

#1. Maybe I’m just not ready yet. I may think I am, but really, what do I know? This is a bit hard to swallow sometimes because it’s personal…no one likes to think they’re not prepared for something they really want to be! But it really can’t be ignored. It’s like picking up a painting before the paint is dry. I need to use this time to grow so I can BE ready!

#2. What if HE’S not ready for ME yet? I have to be honest…I really like this thought. What if by being patient, I’m doing my future mate a favor by giving him the time he needs to be ready? What if I’m so cool that he just needs more prep time? Ok, I’ll quit flattering myself now 😉

#3. You know what I realized? I haven’t used song lyrics for quite awhile. So today, I’ll leave you with a song. It’ll explain #3 better than I ever could.

Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father;
There is no shadow of turning with Thee;
Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not;
As Thou hast been, Thou forever will be.

Great is Thy faithfulness!
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

Summer and winter and springtime and harvest,
Sun, moon and stars in their courses above
Join with all nature in manifold witness
To Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love.

Great is Thy faithfulness!
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth
Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide;
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!

Great is Thy faithfulness!
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

There’s nothing wrong with me. There’s nothing wrong with you.

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3 responses

5 09 2010
De'Dee Brown

There are other options… you know like what if God wants you to be friends for years or what if HE isn’t even where you are right now… you know what if he is in oh say Canada or South America and you haven’t even met yet.
Romans 8:28, Jeremiah 29:11
And you know God has this kind of funny way of doing things it is usually once I just get content where I am that HE mixes things up. You know I get content then we get orders to move in 3 months. Remember HE wants us to lean on HIM not mankind.
BTW… God sent Jesus to die for you just as you are… so you are enough.

5 09 2010
mybadfriended

De’Dee, I hope you realize how much I appreciate your encouragement. Thank you!

9 09 2010
Mom

Ah sweetheart, every time I read your blog you amaze me – when did you get so grown up? You know my story, going through undergrad, grad school and seminary staying single . . . I know that was God’s plan for me although I had some rough days with some of the same thoughts as you. But our God was so greatly faithful and when the time was right, there was this guy named Mike and the rest is history! The years before Mike were not wasted but were used to follow the Lord’s plan for my life. I could not have done the things I did, gone the places I did, if I had married during or just after college. Then when I did marry there was Alicia and then YOU!! You will never get pressure from me to find a guy and marry – if you feel like I am just remind me of this blog! I love you more than anything in this world except maybe your Dad.
love, Mom

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