So Where is the Victory?

It’s been way too long since my last post. I’m going to blame it on school and copious amounts of homework! Anyways, this semester has been hectic! Despite my doctor’s concern, I registered for 17 credits, and was dong alright until the School of Education sprung a few mandatory deadlines on us. I still thought I could manage, but, alas, it was just too much. I decided to drop a class that could be easily taken at another time. But it wasn’t just that simple, just dropping a class. Nope, I had to go and get all emotional about it! 😉 But I should have seen it coming, should have known that 17 credits would be too much. Or I should have started the papers for that class earlier. Something. I failed. I messed up. Right? Well, that’s what the Enemy would have me to believe.

The day I chose to drop the class ended up being incredibly emotional. Actually, the week as a whole felt like an emotional roller coaster. And I was weak. Emotionally vulnerable. Guess who came knocking? Yep, the Bad Boyfriend tried to nose his way back into my life. He stood outside my (metaphorical) door trying OH-so-hard to convince me that I’d feel so much better if I’d just not eat. Or maybe just a little bit…something light. But for goodness sake, DON’T eat a normal meal. Don’t eat anything substantial. To be honest, I listened a bit. I ate, but maybe not as much as I should have…yet I still see myself as victorious. Am I delusional? Am I blinded to reality? Perhaps not.

See, I listened to the Enemy for a couple hours, but guess what happened? I became RAVENOUSLY hungry! So I told that bad boyfriend, the Enemy voice, to get lost. I wanted to eat, and that was that. He didn’t go down easy, though. I fought him around the kitchen, throwing him out of the fridge and the cupboards. I might have even found him hiding in the freezer. And I kicked him out the door. See, he affected me even when trying to decide what to eat, even after making the decision to actually take care of myself. So the question lingers: If I still hear this voice so strongly, how can I see myself as victorious?

I chose to eat.

Despite the emotion and enemy voice warring inside of me, I pushed through, and ate anyways. Even though the Enemy followed me around the kitchen in the most frustrating way, I fought to ignore the voice…to quiet him, to make him leave. I didn’t allow him complete power over me. True, he started out with the upper hand, but it didn’t last. And for the record, none of this was by my own power, but the power of Jesus. He came through, just like He always does 🙂

I do not trust in my bow,
my sword does not bring me victory;

but you give us victory over our enemies,
you put our adversaries to shame.
Psalm 44:6-7

From now on, I’m going to try to end each post with a goal. In the following post, I’ll report on the progress with said goal. So the goal I’m setting tonight? I need to go to a restaurant and order a burger. How hard can this be? A freaking (excuse me) burger?! Yet, thus far, I’ve found this to be pretty intimidating. So here’s to becoming victorious over a silly (and probably tasty) burger!